As busy moms we tend to get caught up in our children’s lives putting all of our energy into that, but you also need to remember that there is someone else in your life that craves some one-on-one time with you, and that is your husband. We, as moms, tend to put all of our energy into planning everyone’s day, making sure everyone makes it to their intended destinations, is picked up, fed, bathed, put to bed, and the house is clean, but we forget to save a little of that energy for our husband. I know that this is the last thing that you want to hear, but hear me out. You not only need to make the time to spend with your husband, but you HAVE to. Remember back to when it was just the two of you, before children, and how much you enjoyed spending time together and just being together. Just because you have children does not mean that you can never have that again. I am here to tell you that you can! But, you really have to make an effort. Here are a few things for you to try:
* Make the kids dinner and put them to bed early. Then, make dinner for you and your husband. It can be the same thing the kids have but spice it up a bit with a pretty tablecloth and a couple of candles. Bring out the “good” dishes and use them. This can make even the simplest dish feel fancy and romantic. Spend time just talking and catching up on each other’s day. Who knows where that will lead?
* Plan a day where you both go for a walk or even go out for dinner together and have someone else watch the kids. Better yet, plan a day where you can both be home while the kids will be at school and just spend time at home. Plan a nice meal and watch that movie that you’ve been wanting to watch but have not had the time.
* Spend time just talking. Sit out on the porch after the kids are in bed each night and just talk. You will be surprised what you can find to talk about that does not pertain to your children. Remember you used to do this before you had children and you can do it again.
* Pick up a card at the store and his favorite candy and lay on his night stand or pillow, or even slip it into his lunch box when he’s not looking. When he finds it, he will know that you are thinking of him and that you love him.
Now, please don’t think that I am perfect and do all of these things all of the time. I am preaching to the choir here. I am just like every mom out there and tend to get wrapped up in daily living and forget the small things, too. But, I can tell you that when I do forget to spend time with my husband, it does show in our relationship. In the same way, when we do take the time to make time to spend together, it also shows. I am very blessed to be married to my best friend for 16 years now, and I pray that God will grant us many more years together. I can honestly say that we are still very much in love and very happily married, but it’s only because we have learned over time to make sure that we take time out for us. No, this is not selfish. It is what helps to strengthen our relationship as husband and wife as well as in mother and father to our children. We try to show our children how important it is in a marriage to make sure that we take time out for each other. They see how much we love each other and how that love spreads to them, because they see that we care enough about each other to make sure that we keep communication lines open between us which helps us to keep communication lines open to them as well.
Just like your kitchen is the heart of your home, the love that you share with your husband, which should be second only to God, is also the heart and soul of your family. The love that you demonstrate to each other is the love that your children will demonstrate to others.
Stephanie Martin, a work-at-home-mom of 2 daughters and 1 son, and the owner and publisher of Busy Moms Online, and site with information for busy moms, and My Country Haven, a blog documenting her life living on a farm and their frugal journey of remaining debt free while becoming more self-sufficient.